This week – week two of The Presence Process – the memories of earlier experiences and intuitive knowing of what was going on for me back then have become clearer. I have been able to get back to some of my usual activities and stay present in the process too.
As the grief abated somewhat, the rage buried below it has surfaced and I must say I’ve been quite shocked at the intensity of it. As old memories surfaced, I kept asking myself when I had felt this way before, staying conscious of the reflections and projections in each experience, including those I am having now.
When I saw him, I kept my focus on the fact that he is merely reflecting my own resonance back at me. It is I who have attracted this situation, and keeping that in mind, helped me stay centered and feel empowered. I can change my life experiences through integrating the emotional charges from my childhood. I am more determined than ever to see this process through, no matter what the challenges.
My session this week was focused on my fear that “I am unlovable, that I can’t trust anyone, that I am stabbed in the back, I become the outsider and there is no action I can do to alleviate my stress.” This fear of relaxing and being my authentic self has been with me for as long as I can remember. In fact, there were various earlier experiences involved with this session, from my birth to when I was 16 and my classmates complained to one of our teachers that she had given me too high a grade on the oral exams, which they resented because I graduated top of our class, an honor they felt belonged to someone else.