The ebb and flow of emotions continues and I’m finding it much easier to go with their flow and allow them to integrate. I feel better able to do the breathing practice without my mind wandering. And I am much more aware of the reflections and my projections in the world around me.
This week I noticed it most when I was playing badminton. Objectively, I know that I am a good player and yet I always feel a little bit like an impostor. The feeling of not being good enough, the anxiety of being found out and humiliated, means that I never give my best on the court.
My 4-year-old and newborn selves were holding most of these emotions this week and it helped me to picture myself holding them both as we felt our pain, being there for each other, helping each other, knowing that we will always be there for each other, free of needing to compete for love or anything else with anyone.
The session I did also helped me to let go of this feeling that I am a stand in for someone else, someone better than me, and to let go of always comparing myself to others and competing against them, instead of competing only against myself to do my best everyday. The shift in my perspective was astounding. Even after all this time using Resonance Repatterning®, sometimes I still can’t help but be amazed.