At the beginning of this week, just reading this sentence, “I forgive myself,” had such a strong emotional charge attached to it. Again, the emotions this week seemed to come in strong waves of grief, anger and fear.
All weekend I felt like I was carrying a heavy burden that I couldn’t put down. I was unable to get anything accomplished and felt that perhaps this sense of carrying something that’s too heavy for me might explain how sedentary I was as a child.
My Resonance Repatterning® session was centered around this theme and allowed me to address the “burden” I seem to have been carrying. I had assumed it was a generational pattern that I had picked up as an infant, but it turned out to be something that was mine alone – a tendency to wall myself off and expect others to let me down and betray me.
As I write this, the feeling of expecting betrayal is strong and I sense it goes back to my twin abandoning me when she chose not to join me in this world. Clearly there is much emotional charge to integrate yet, but I already have more frequent moments of lightness and presence in my life, for which I am very grateful.
Onward and upward!